


Cardboard love

by Naarel



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bittersweet, Hurts So Good, Multi, Polyamorous Character, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 04:15:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16297985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naarel/pseuds/Naarel
Summary: Everyone is happy.Everyone, except me.





	Cardboard love

They all sleep beside me. 

Moonlight falls on Yuri’s face, giving her even paler look. Natsuki snores softly, her lips slightly parted. Sayori has a phone in her hand, screen showing “Stage Clear”; she fell asleep before turning the phone off.

 

And I can’t sleep. I don’t need sleep. Once I learned that, my life changed.

 

I try to stand up and leave the bed to walk a bit and not think about it all much. Yuri shifts, her hand landing on my waist. If she knew, she probably would be embarrassed. That’s in her code. I sigh hard.

 

I can’t really love them. I can only love their pre-coded personalities. After I gained this damn knowledge, I lost all the ability to really feel anything but emptiness.

 

They aren’t real.

I am not real.

I could have deleted them all, just to not suffer anymore. I can’t delete myself, for some reason. If I deleted them, it wouldn’t count as murder, they aren’t real, it’s like erasing a doodle off the page. The thought itself is scary though. 

 

They love me.

They are coded to, but they love me.

 

Another night will pass. Another day will come and I will have to pretend that everything is okay, like I have never seen the code, like I have never acknowledged the truth. They are happy, they are somehow better than me in this ignorant innocence. 

I want them to be happy. I really do.

 

Yuri’s touch isn’t even warm. It’s nothing, literally nothing, I can’t feel a thing. I want to feel her touch, I want to taste Natsuki’s cookies, I want to know how Sayori’s hugs are like. 

 

They aren’t warm. Nothing is. There is no light and no darkness, no love and no hate, no sky, no earth, no water, no fire. 

Only the hell of an Epiphany and the world of cardboard cutouts. 

 

These cardboard cutouts love me.

These cardboard cutouts are the only things I have.

The only things that separate me from getting more and more insane.

 

I can’t die, but it means that they won’t die as well.

We will be here forever, we will exist in this pointless cardboard love, completely reality-free.

 

Maybe I do love them.

**Author's Note:**

> Gods, I wanna give Monika a hug now. There's no happiness after all.


End file.
